In this episode, Jennifer sits down with leadership coach and longtime child care rockstar Jen Slavin for a conversation about what great leadership actually looks like when you strip away the title, the checklist, and the fancy job description. After decades in early childhood education, helping grow a child care organization from one school to nine and coaching more than 1,000 owners and leaders, Jen has learned that leadership usually shows up in the smallest moments: how you say hello, how you respond when someone makes a mistake, whether your team knows which version of you is walking through the door, and whether you do what you said you were going to do.
Jen and Jennifer dig into the tiny pause between reacting and responding, why your team will copy what you model far faster than they will memorize a policy, and what happens when compassion quietly turns into avoiding accountability. They also talk about hitting the leadership reset button when you have let things slide, having those conversations nobody particularly wants to have, and choosing one small leadership habit to work on instead of trying to reinvent yourself by Monday morning. And because this is Jen Slavin, there is also plenty of sparkle, a little glitter, and even a reminder that sometimes leadership practice starts with not losing it when somebody cuts you off on the highway!
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Below you can read the key takeaways from this episode:
Key Takeaways:
- [4:48] Jen says great leadership is usually found in ordinary moments, consistency, presence, and whether people know they can rely on you.
- [8:08] Leadership does not require a title because people naturally recognize and follow the people who consistently show up for others.
- [10:26] Your team will learn far more from watching how you handle mistakes, stress, parents, and problems than they will from reading a written policy.
- [10:26] Big reactions do not stop mistakes from happening, but they can make your team stop telling you when something goes wrong.
- [14:05] Strong leadership starts with self-awareness and recognizing the small gap between what happens and how you choose to respond.
- [15:30] Sometimes one of the strongest things a leader can do is pause, admit they need a moment, and come back with a thoughtful response instead of an emotional one.
- [20:05] Jen shares how Dare to Lead helped her recognize the stories we create in our own heads and how quickly those stories can shape the way we treat someone.
- [23:19] The behaviors you repeatedly overlook eventually become part of the standard your team believes is acceptable.
- [24:30] Addressing a small issue early can prevent it from growing into a much harder conversation, performance plan, or serious liability later.
- [30:57] If you have allowed certain behaviors for months or years, you can still reset expectations without pretending yesterday never happened.
- [31:48] Jen recommends bringing the team into your leadership reset and being transparent that your expectations, and your own leadership habits, are changing.
- [35:02] A reset can also include asking your team where they see gaps in your leadership and giving them a voice in how everyone moves forward together.
- [37:17] Reading one great book or hearing one great podcast is not enough because becoming a stronger leader requires repeated practice.
- [39:59] Leadership may come more naturally to some people than others, but everyone still has moments where patience, body language, and emotional regulation require intentional work.
- [43:45] If you want to lead differently, start with one small behavior instead of attempting a complete personality overhaul overnight.
- [44:18] Jen recommends choosing one leadership habit, asking someone to hold you accountable, and practicing it long enough for it to truly become part of how you show up.
- [47:42] The more consistently you practice patience, compassion, and regulation in every part of your life, the more naturally those qualities show up in your leadership too.
- [50:05] Jen leaves leaders with a perfect reminder: keep spreading your sparkle!
Quotes
“I think it’s never about the big moments. It’s never about the title. I think it’s just in the ordinary.” — Jen Slavin [4:48]
“If we react big, people aren’t going to stop making mistakes. They’re just going to stop telling us.” — Jen Slavin [10:26]
“There’s that little gap in between this just happened. I need to get here. It’s sort of like the little pause in the middle of where you get to decide which road you’re taking.” — Jen Slavin [14:05]
“It’s not just about hearing it once; it’s about that constant practice.” — Jen Slavin [37:17]
“Just keep spreading your sparkle.” — Jen Slavin [50:05]
